Post 3: Doing things out of order

Doing things Out of Order

There’s this idea that if you do things “out of order” in the church.. that it will reject you. Isn’t it wild that doing things out of order is what has given me the faith of where I am today?

The priest didn’t shame me… neither has my church.. which I think is one of the biggest misconceptions that happen. Not to say a church or priest in the history of history hasn’t done to people.. I’ll never gaslight your story or experience. But Im here to share mine… our’s… and misconceptions that have become what people think the standard is. Here I am sharing, I’ve had four kids out of wedlock, am an active participant in the church, we’re sexually active… and our priest didn’t make me feel like I had failed or that I was unworthy. 

He INVITED us to make an appointment with him.. and told me to pray that God would show me how much He loved me, right there in the confessional. & that in and of itself was so encouraging that I knew this was something worth sitting down and talking through more deeply with Jon by my side.

So we scheduled an appointment. & within two weeks, on a schedule that worked for us (god bless him) Jon and I were sitting with our pastor, talking through where we were at and what it would look like to move forward.

We talked about what staying where we were meant for me as an active Catholic. There was NO PRESSURE as to where Jon was at in his faith and walk with God.. which I feel is worth mentioning. (Also if you’re wondering where he’s at or why I don’t share… I understand your curiosity.. but that’s for him to discover, share, and tell if he want to. I ask you be respectful of this.)

In the Catholic faith, you aren’t supposed to receive communion when you’re in a state of active sin. & sex outside of marriage is considered a mortal sin, when done with full knowlegde.. which hello.. I had gained. But sex is also a part of any healthy relationship.. God wants you to be having sex with your SPOUSE. It’s connection.. specially with four kids and 2 people who barely get alone time. We had some serious thinking to do.

We learned that we could either live as brother & sister or I could continuously come to confession every single time, knowing I’d need to hold off on communion if I didn’t. Or… we could get married. And I know, this sounds threatening to those that don’t understand.. but to me it was a beautiful act of gaining knowledge, and growing deeper into my relationship with God.. which in turn was deepening my relationship with JOn… 

And I already knew in my heart what God was calling us to do. I just didn’t know if we were ready to act on it yet.